Public Announcement

Hello everyone.

I am here to announce that I FAILED my examination.
Known as EOS.
Also known as the biggest medical examination in IMU.

I did very badly in 1 of the papers, so badly beyond comprehension that it pulled my overall average grade from B to C minus. The passing grade is an overall C. Which means I've failed the whole thing even if I was alright in the other papers. So will be resitting for the whole thing on the 22nd and 23rd of June, 3 papers, 1 month from now.

I was quite sure that I would fail. Because I did so badly for that paper alone, I knew I needed a miracle to just pass. It didn't really sink in until I tore open that envelope and saw the grade for myself and the 'We regret to inform you that you have failed your EOS'. I also did something so stupid, that I can strangle myself right now because I did hundreds of past year questions (like literally, not joking) and neglected my notes, which I thought I was superhuman to memorise every single line (it is essential to memorise every single line) in 1 day.

I'm not kidding you.

I didn't wanna tell that to anyone in the beginning, because even I myself thought it was incredibly stupid. And so that I would feel a little better by pretending that I did study hard for this exam. Or should I add a complete retard for even attempting that. I was feeling extremely depressed and sad to the point of being emotionless after the exam because most of all, I didn't want to disappoint my parents, my family and also my friends who have been rooting for me all along.

All along, I thought I was going to handle the exam just fine. Despite spending lotsa time doing unnecessary stuff and watching loads of series and movies, I actually sat there for hours at end.. not studying, but doing the freaking past year questions. I was even so glad that I finished the whole pile because I was informed that past years DO come out alot in EOS.

Right after the disasterous 1st paper (which I did very badly on), I knew I was doomed. Because nothing came out. And this paper constitutes a chunk of percentage for my overall. After the whole EOS, I was told that past years almost NEVER repeats.

Too late for that.

I also thought that I should finish the past years because I didn't score for one of my Chemistry papers in A levels because I was so convinced that if I studied my notes, I could definitely answer the questions. WRONG. So convinced that history would repeat, I was determined to finished up the past years, and at the very end, I was left with 2 days to memorise my notes. After franctically reading up and jotting down short notes to memorise, I was left with 1 day.

And so I mugged the whole entire night without getting a wink of sleep. This is probably the most stressful as I can get. My blood pressure shot up so high that my left arm was numb the entire night. But I told myself that I had no time to stop or breakdown. And so around 3am, I decided to memorise the past year answers as a desperate attempt up til the time I entered the exam hall.

Day 1 over. I got back home, slept for 3 hours and continued stuffing facts into my brain. This time I got rid of the past years and memorised as much as I could from my notes. I was feeling so tired I had to take an hour nap, and woke up in cold sweat and heart palpitations. It took me half an hour to recover.

For a moment, I really wondered if I could have been having a heart attack.

And went back to my books up til the time I went for my Day 2 paper, which I did considerably much better than Day 1.

But sadly, not good enough to save myself.

There you go. I'm announcing this not to justify myself, but to accept the fact that I failed. And the stupid things I did that led to this humbling circumstance. A slap across my face for not being well prepared. A kick for thinking that past years are shortcuts in being a doctor. And so that nobody will ever attempt anything like that in the future EOS.

Before I got my results, I thought that I will not be able to face anyone, or tell anyone that I failed. I thought that I will shy away from the world because one of my worst fears is actually failure. But today God gave me the strength and courage to not only face it, but to declare that even if you fall, you can stand upright again. And that's why I'm announcing this to the whole world, because what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

To all those who failed, don't ever give up. I'm sure we are all better than this. Everybody is cheering for you! And I can say this, because I failed as well and understand how you feel. So hang in there :)

For the only way to triumph over failure is to stand up tall. Do not let it beat you down. We will brave through this storm.

Someone once told me 2 years ago,

'You don't know how to play the game. In order to win, you must lose 1st. Learn from it and never make the same mistakes again. To help another human being, you must be a knowledgable doctor. Only then you can save someone's life.'

Thank you Mr Lim.

*****
You will not hear from me for a month until my exam is over. Keep cheering for us! And thank you for all your support.

=)